I used to be one of those people whose happiness was dependent a lot on how good I made others feel. I think this pattern started a long time ago as a child, when I saw my parents fighting and having problems with each other, so I took it upon myself to be responsible for their happiness. An absolutely hopeless task, especially since I was only 11.
This pattern carried over to my adult life and spilled over to my relationships. I had an overall general feeling of care taking. It often left me empty and depleted. It took me years to realize the value of replenishing myself and putting myself on the top of my to do list, of taking care of myself so I can take care of others. And at some point I really got that the key to happiness is to going deep inside myself and realizing that I was enough, and that is what I call the process of "unbinding."
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